Seriously. Everyday Italian, with Giada De Laurentiis, is simply pornography. Let's look at why.

1. She is boobs. I'm sorry, but no one cooks in that few clothes. I don't think that's safe; that small an amount of clothes would absolutely result in an oil burn to the chest. The average episode of EI has about 5 inches of cleavage, which is wholly unnecessary. With that much boobage, you are putting it on TV hoping that people will be looking at it.
   
   "I want to be respected as a chef!"
2. The porn music. The whole musical selection is from soft-core 90's porn. If you close your eyes and listen, there's really no difference...
3. Her choice of descriptors. She is leading male viewers on! How can I be paying attention when she says things like "Mmmmm, it's so soft and creamy in my mouth!" and "The longer you keep it in there the more soft and tender it gets." There's just no reason for that. Watch the episode one time, and for every instruction she gives, try to say "Man, I'd like to _____." It's dirty EVERY TIME.
   
   "It's just the right size to fit into my mouth." She seriously said that!
4. The show intros. The last episode we watch she started in a bathrobe coming from a spa. Seriously? Seriously???

Anyway, I'm off to go watch another episode of Everyday Italian. Later!

Let's all remember that two unwilling teenagers in Alaska have been deemed fit to raise a child, but a loving couple made up of two men or two women who have good jobs and a stable household in Arkansas are unfit to raise a child. Fuck the double standards that social conservatism has brought in this country, do you really think jesus would want to see a kid rot in an orphanage or foster home over being given care and full time attention? And in CA, people have decided to reverse all of the happy relationships that were authorized by the state in favor of some moral high ground? And here in NC, candidates slander each other by suggesting the other is an atheist? And for the presidency, people try to slander other people by associating them with a religion, when all they know about that religion is the extremes?

Fuck religion in this country. Fuck it all. You were given a constitution that allowed you to make your religion a personal decision. The founders were sick of people telling them what and how they had to believe in, and you take that and try to say "within the narrow realm of the accepted christian faiths?" The other day we were out with friends, and of everyone, I, the "amoral atheist," was the only one to never go to a strip club, never try a drug, and never drink before I was 21. I'm in a monogamous heterosexual marriage! I live a life more aligned with christian morals than most christians I know, who the MOTHER FUCK are you to tell someone else how to live based off your beliefs?

This is my declaration of war on religious oppression in our society. I've always been nice, I say my piece but allow you to say yours. If you think you can take the rights away from others, I'll fight with everything I have to take your rights away from you.

We the People of the United States (except gays), in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice (but not for gays), insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence (but not for the rights of gays), promote the general Welfare (not gays), and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves (as long as we're not gay) and our Posterity (who won't be raised by gay parents, even if they are raised in a foster home), do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving.
We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to
the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue
You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals.

Peace out,
Blue States