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“Everyday Italian” on the food network is porn.

Seriously. Everyday Italian, with Giada De Laurentiis, is simply pornography. Let’s look at why.

  1. She is boobs. I’m sorry, but no one cooks in that few clothes. I don’t think that’s safe; that small an amount of clothes would absolutely result in an oil burn to the chest. The average episode of EI has about 5 inches of cleavage, which is wholly unnecessary. With that much boobage, you are putting it on TV hoping that people will be looking at it.
    Giada is Boobs!
    “I want to be respected as a chef!”
  2. The porn music. The whole musical selection is from soft-core 90’s porn. If you close your eyes and listen, there’s really no difference…
  3. Her choice of descriptors. She is leading male viewers on! How can I be paying attention when she says things like “Mmmmm, it’s so soft and creamy in my mouth!” and “The longer you keep it in there the more soft and tender it gets.” There’s just no reason for that. Watch the episode one time, and for every instruction she gives, try to say “Man, I’d like to _____.” It’s dirty EVERY TIME.
    Quick, guys, what color is her dress?  I dunno either!
    “It’s just the right size to fit into my mouth.” She seriously said that!
  4. The show intros. The last episode we watch she started in a bathrobe coming from a spa. Seriously? Seriously???

Anyway, I’m off to go watch another episode of Everyday Italian. Later!

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