The New Preamble to the Constitution
We the People of the United States (except gays), in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice (but not for gays), insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence (but not for the rights of gays), promote the general Welfare (not gays), and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves (as long as we're not gay) and our Posterity (who won't be raised by gay parents, even if they are raised in a foster home), do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.