I have developed a new theory. I believe you can use hair length as a judge of how crazy a girl is. Allow me to explain.

There is an appropriate hair length for each age in your life, as a girl. Not to say you can't deviate, but there's an age-appropriate connection. It's not my own theory, read here. I also conducted my own informal poll where these biases were confirmed. Here's a brief guideline I am proposing on my own:

• Appropriate Age: 15-25
  
• Appropriate Age: 25-35
  
• Appropriate Age: 30-40
  
• Appropriate Age: 40-50
  
• Appropriate Age: 50+
  

Ok. Look at those 5 groups. Look at the approximate age, and the approximate hair LENGTH (not style). Here's my theory: For each hair-length group outside of your age range you are, add a point. Then, add a bonus point if the hair color is OBVIOUSLY dyed unnaturally (19 year old with pink hair. 87 year old with bright orange hair, etc.) If you have 2 or more points...You're nuts, or a pain in the ass. It's an "avoid" flag. If you're 23 and have spiky short hair...proceed with caution. If you're 67 and have a ponytail down to your lower back...you're selling pet squirrels and turquoise jewelry on the side of the freeway. If you're just 1 away...that's fine, maybe a tiny warning, but it's a safe-zone.

This is my own opinion and my own theory, but I'm interested in feedback. And experiences. I call it the "Gullo Hair Length/Craziness" theory. DISCUSS!

Rygel, our fantastic puppy, (http://www.facebook.com/rygel.woof) really likes people a lot. However, there's rules and a procedure for meeting him, and these must be strictly followed. Here are the rules, all laid out for all to know before meeting him.

IMPORTANT TO NOTE! We've extensively trained him to hold his bladder, but for a select few people (read: Leon and my Dad) he compulsively piddles every time he sees them. He's always done it to the 2 of them, and if you're part of this select group, you'll just have to get used to greeting him outside. He can't help it and it can't wait, we don't know if it's a smell or something, but he INSTANTLY pees.

RULES FOR MEETING RYGEL:

1. When he sees a new person, whether it's in the park, in his house, outside, wherever, he will bark and snarl at you. You will be convinced he will bite you, and he might, though we never let anyone get close enough. He is completely viscous sounding and is truly frightening. This is normal. (Side note: recently, 2 small children have met him, and he hasn't been interested or bothered, he simply ignores them. Not to encourage small children around him, but one was a Downs syndrome girl whose mom was walking through our old house and let the girl walk, and Rygel tolerated her poking very, very well.)
2. He will be on a leash or held tight by the collar while all his nastiness is going on. One of us (Jenn of I) will get a treat.
3. We will put the treat in his face, and grab his attention. There is a narrow window for this.
4. He will be told to sit, at which point the treat will be handed to you in full view of Rygel.
5. You will extend the non-treat hand, and both you and Jenn/Myself will say "shake hands" to which he will very politely extend a paw and shake your hand.
6. You give him the treat

And then all will be well. It's like a freaking "off" switch. Usually one routine of this is enough, occasionally he'll forget you next time you come around and we need to do it again, but it takes THAT TRICK for some crazy reason to make him OK with people. High Five doesn't work, nor does Roll Over, Play Dead, Stand Up, Lay Down, etc.

For warning to people who don't like dogs, he has no self control when it comes to addressing people he is friends with. He will sit in your lap. He will lick your face. He will bring you toys to play with. He will fall asleep on your leg. He is the most affectionate cuddler ever, and loves to play all day, but you have to get in his good graces first.

Let's recount the last few weeks, because they've been a whirlwind and I'm a little drained from telling the story:

• Wednesday, June 13th: I finish my MASSIVE 7 week weight loss of 35lbs with my parents coming into town for Jenn's Med School Graduation. Very drained from the final cut, got to 228.5.
• Wednesday, June 13th - Wednesday, June 20th: Jenn graduating, family in town, general chaos.
• Saturday, June 23rd - Sunday, June 31st: 2 Weddings and a trip to Cancun, general chaos.
• Monday the 1st: I get the dog and return to work while Jenn is still at her parents; I do a ton of packing.
• Thursday the 4th: Jenn comes back into town from her post-grad trip to her parent's house in CA; I've been at home for a week with the dog. It's RYGEL'S 2nd BIRTHDAY!!!
• Friday the 5th: I take the day off of work to interview for a job in the GME Office at the UVA Med Center. We bring the dog up thinking it'll help him adjust to see it and smell around a bit before the move, unfortunately, it's pouring out all day so I have a wet dog in the car, nowhere to change (we drove up and down same day) and have to keep wet dog off my nice new suit. Went very well though.
• Wednesday the 10th: Jenn leaves for Charlottesville to go to orientation in her car. We're scheduled to get the moving truck Saturday Morning. She can't drive my car (stick shift) and can't drive the truck, so to execute this move, her car must come back to NC. After we move, I need to get back to NC and the train on the following Monday would get in at 1 AM Tuesday which is a no go to still get to work, so the only feasible way to do this is to have my car in VA...
• Friday the 12th: I leave work and drive up to C'Ville (3 hours) in my car, drop my car off, and drive back to Winston (4 hours) in Jenn's car. NOT A HAPPY DAY TO SAY THE LEAST. Tensions are running high and stress is at a max.
• Saturday the 13th: Get the truck exactly at 8 AM. We originaly got the 22 foot, then upgraded to a 26 foot, then went back to a 22 foot, so when we picked it up we weren't sure how big it'd be. It's freaking huge, it has a big rig cab on the front, full on brake meter to show you're brake temperature and pressure. The thing is a HUGE bitch to drive. It's way more than like a 17 foot truck which I've done in the past; those are just like pickup fronts on a truck. This is a full on deisel mack truck. We load this bitch all day, just the 2 of us, grunting and groaning and stressed and miserable. It was not a good day at all. We also were very worried stuff wouldn't fit, and spoiler alert, we got it all in there by the skin of our teeth. At the end there was a bit of "rearranging to make sure there's room for the fish tank" (which was put in last thing) but somehow everything fit, literally with stuff pressing against the door. We go out to dinner and such, trying to recover from bumps, bruises and sore muscles. BTW, Rygel is EXTREMELY stressed out about all of this stuff.
• Sunday the 14th: We wake up late (on the air mattress) and get the car/truck ready. We know we don't get the keys until Monday at 6 AM, so we don't want to leave early and just sit around. The fish are fragile and we don't want them in the temp carriers that long, so we wait to leave by about 3 or 4. We were shooting for 3, but things got delayed as we were packing up. We know it's 3.5 hours normally, but the truck was so hard to drive I was planning on 5. Driving up with the dog the week before he was all nuts jumping all over both of us, but I was there to restrain him in the passenger seat. Knowing I wasn't there, we tried to give Rygel a benadryl to subdue him, and we went online to learn a safe dose, but it didn't affect him at all. I could see into Jenn's car on the drive up and he was in her lap the whole time. The drive SUCKED. I called Jenn and said "we're not stopping just because it's so hard to get in and out of driveways." As long as we didn't need gas, I'd hold it until we got there and would go hungry. The whole drive you're so focused because it's so hard to stay within your lane and stuff. Also, getting closer to the city it's a mountain road that's all twisty and hilly, we were going like 20 miles an hour under the speed limit. We got there in about 4 hours, maybe a little more, and it was all ok. We rolled straight into the hotel where I parked the behemoth in a pullthrough space and began unloading the fish and turtle into the hotel in the temporary tanks. We get to the room, and Rygel has never stayed in a hotel before, he immediately poops on the floor (which stinks for the rest of the night). Rygel also after ignoring him for 2 years has discovered Baron (it's really like he can't see him when he's in the water, but now that he's out of the water and banging around the temporary tub, he's very interesting) so he's barking at him. Chaos, we go to sleep at about 10 knowing we're getting up and getting the truck to the house at 5:45 AM the next day...
• Monday the 15th: Jenn and I couldn't sleep, we were both up at 3:30. It's supposed to thunderstorm all day long. We leave the tank in the hotel and roll into the truck and the car, and it's def. raining. Jenn pulls up with the car and the dog ahead of me to see if they're out, and I'm pulled up into the turn lane outside of the complex waiting for the word. They're not out yet, and we sit there until about 6:15. It kind of stops raining, but it's VERY threatening. So they pull out, and the house remains unoccupied for all of 1 minute, literally. So we start loading, which is fine. Jenn's classmate Rah's husband Tim comes to help at about 7, and we go and go and go until it's all unloaded by 9, miraculously. And it doesn't rain. Like within 10 minutes of Tim leaving, the Comcast guy comes and BOOM all done within an hour. So it's 10 ish, we arrange for a bit, then go to the hotel by about 11 to shower a bit. Low and behold, I get a phone call while at the hotel, it's Pam from GME *offering* me the job! She said they've recommended me to HR and I should get a call from HR with the official offer in the next day or 2, and that I'd be "very pleased" with the compensation package. WOOT! I immediately phone in my 2 weeks notice to Greensboro. At this point, I'm so tired I can barely think but very happy we shower and go to buy things for the house. Over the rest of the day, we go to lowes and get the new shed for the yard (using the truck from hell mind you) and return the truck, then set up the shed and a few other things, then I leave to come back to Winston Salem to work the next day.
• Tuesday the 16th: I go to work, which is fine, then I come home and begin the huge task of replacing the door in the living room with one that doesn't have a doggy door cut out of it. Mind you, every muscle is sore at this point, but I'm pretty unscathed. What do you know, in installing this door, I completely rip the muscle on the side of my torso. Not rip, but pull severely. Fail. I needed a drill to install this and Jenn had mine in C'ville, so I had to go and actually buy a drill. I decided to actually pay for something good and not opt for Harbor Freight crap that will break in a week. So I did that and started to pull the fence out of the yard, which was going to go to Barbara at work who would use it for her barn. Let's talk about my stuff for the week: while I was setting up the fish tank and Jenn packed me a bag. I have a king air mattress, mind you, and need 5 days worth of work clothes. She sent me home with 11 underpants, 7 socks (not pairs, socks) and 2 queen fitted sheets, plus some pants and shirts. Awesome. I didn't sleep well on the air mattress at all.
• Wendesday the 17th: Work again. Still haven't gotten the call from UVA Med Center HR, but being patient. Jenn actually sees Pam at orientation where the new residents (260 ish of them) are doing benefit paperwork, so I understand, HR is swamped. She said it's a done deal and it's just paperwork, so it's cool. For those of you wondering, this is why I've been hesitant to announce it, I fear some sort of Jinx if I officially announce it, so I'm waiting until I accept the official offer. I go home, do more cleaning and housework, do a bunch of painting, and go to sleep, again not sleeping well, I need weight on me to sleep and a fitted sheet is not weight.
• Thursday the 18th: Work again, still no offer, slightly stressing but that's just because I'm a worry wart. This is the last night in the house, so I get the car all packed up except for the mattress and such which needs to be done Friday Morning. House is all vacuumed and good to go.
• Friday the 19th: I wake up an hour early to finish closing up the house, and off I go to do the last commute from Winston to Greensboro ever! Kind of sad to leave the house we got married in and that our baby grew up in (yes Rygel is our first child). So I go to work, still no call from UVA HR, then leave at 4 to go to the airport to fly to CA for Jenn's cousin's wedding. She can't go because of training, but as soon as I knew where I'd be I volunteered to be the Gullo representative at the wedding. Flight was very smooth, no incidents which is rare for me. I actually brought my laundry from NC to CA to do as I have no laundry equipment at the moment, so my bags were stuffed, but all was well. I get in at about 1AM my time (10 there) and crash.
• Saturday the 20th: I wake up early to work on dad's website while I'm there. Get that done, get some In-N-Out, then get in the car to drive the 2 hours to the wedding, which was very nice, then drive back to the parent's house, do Fathers day, and get to bed at about midnight. WHIRLWIND OF A DAY!
• Sunday the 21st: Wake up at 6AM, leave house at 6:30, and fly out at 7:30AM back to NC. Get in at like 5 PM after not eating all day, and get to my hotel, which is all good, it's a crappy motel but it's fine and has a comfy chair, so I chill out the rest of the night.
• Monday the 22nd: Work again, hotel again. I actually called Pam at UVA today to ask her ahead of time for the day off for Michael's wedding, and she asked if HR had called yet, and I said no, and she said they're bogged down and she'll make a call to see if it can be done in the next week. She also told me what they recommended to pay me...lemme put it this way, you could make the argument that Jenn and I make the same amount, which is HUGE. Like, all our problems solved huge. But no official offer yet, so I sit patiently and finish out the last week. Oh, and I had panda express.
• Tuesday the 23rd: Another day, another dollar. Brooks was out today, and I feel kind of crappy since I have no kitchen to cook in, am eating fast food, and the hotel's fitness center's equipment is all broken. Today I got another call from Pam in UVA, saying HR contacted her and the amount she told me they recommended to HR yesterday was rejected for a lower number, that I have some room to negotiate, and that I should hear "this evening or tomorrow." That's all fine, I just want the offer and to start. I know I looked online and in the area for my position title the median income is $38,000, so I've got a lot of buffer room to still be satisfied with. Just waiting.
• Wednesday the 24th: FINALLY! At about 9 AM, I get the call from HR, they make the offer, less than they originally said but with the signing bonus pretty good, very much in line with what I'd expected from the beginning based on research I did about pay in the area, and it's all good! I offered to start the 29th when Pam and I originally talked, but it looks like there's a chance the paperwork can't get done that fast, so I may get until July 13th to set up the house. They'll let me know if it's possible, either way I move up Friday and it's all good.

So that's the drill. I'm not updating this post any more, I've been sitting on it for a while holding off out of fear of jinxing all this, so now you can read this in all its glory. I will pack up the hotel on Thursday night, and drive up Friday after work, and that's all she wrote.