Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving.
We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to
the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue
You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals.

Peace out,
Blue States

So they say Obama wants to take more of your tax money? They say he wants bigger government? They say they're the party of reform? Who the fuck do they think they're kidding?

Who was the last president to produce a surplus? CLINTON. When was the last surplus before then? BEFORE REAGAN. Which administrations have produced the greatest increase in inflation adjusted spending? ALL THE REPUBLICAN ADMINISTRATIONS SINCE REAGAN. Have repubs been the party of smaller government? EVER HEARD OF TSA, FEMA, AND HOMELAND SECURITY, ALL OF WHICH ARE FAILBOAT??? What is reform about? WE USED TO BE THE COUNTRY SCIENTISTS FLED TO AGAINST OPPRESSION, NOW PEOPLE CAN'T DO RESEARCH INTO STEM CELLS, FIGHT LEARNING EVOLUTION, AND THE GOVERNMENT WANTS TO OVERTURN PROGRESSIVE LAWS LIKE ROE WADE. SOMEONE OUGHT TO CLARIFY TO THEM THAT "REFORM" DOESN'T MEAN SEND US BACK TO THE FUCKING STONE AGE.

McCain may as well just get up there and tell everyone that the repubs are the party of free candy to all, because apparently they can claim to be anything they want, despite what their history and actions show.

I had originally said I'd vote for whoever the Democratic candidate was, that I prefer Obama but I have to support the cause and get Bush's policies out of office. This is my main logic against Hillary's rhetoric of "I won this primary, which proves that I am the only one who can win this state, since if I win in a Hillary v. Obama contest, everyone who votes Hillary will eventually vote McCain if Hillary isn't the nominee." Aside from this associating herself with the Republican candidate more than the Democratic candidate, it's pretty stupid.

And that's my concern. I dislike Bush's policies, but what I dislike more is his refusal to read the writing on the wall. Let's look at some similarities:

Both are on paths of their own design to a goal that their supporters believe is sound, but the majority of people (who are not supporters) are repeatedly trying to make the case that the idea is more sound. Even as more people defect and the goals that are set forth aren't reached, the goals just change and we change the point of the contest. Key to this is making sure you only listen to the supporters (whose numbers continue to dwindle) and completely ignore the opposition, even if it's what's best for the country. Stay the course, and keep declaring "Mission Accomplished" early and often.

Neither one of them seems to be able to operate in a black budget. Deficit spending and a lack of transparency lay foundations for the form of government they lead.

Both are unwilling to look at the popular vote, but instead are willing to be elected by the courts. Hillary is using committee pull and willing to sue to get Michigan and Florida counted, even though they broke the rules that Hillary, Obama and Edwards signed in August 2006(? on the date.) Buck what the majority of nation wants, buck the fact that FL and MI didn't really get their voices heard, Hillary was the only one who was on the ballot so who knows what the constituents real voices say, but under the guise of "we want their voices heard" she "wants any vote that can count for her no matter if it actually represents what the people want."

Bush misspeaks all the time with stupid words, Hillary misspeaks with stupid elaborate made up fantasy stories about how her homestate is every state she's projected to win OH SHIT LOOK SNIPERS IN SCRANTON, PA.

Finally, Rush Limbaugh supports both.

Really? Think about it, policy aside (Hillary has policies, like the gas tax holiday, that side with McCain, not Obama) Hillary is a clone of GW Bush. I respect Obama so much for not going so far as to destroy any real hope of supporting Hillary if she wins, yet I feel she bashes him so much with her "shame on you" that I don't know how she can support him when he wins. Looking at what she does and how she's played this game, I can't in good faith vote for her. I can't vote for McCain, but she has played the game in such a way that where I once would have supported her by the "D" after her name, I can't vote for her ever.

  Something I constantly strive for is gaining a bigger perspective on myself in the world. I've often been described (and I truly try to avoid describing myself, considering a description of my from my own perspective is guaranteed to be biased) (I am the coolest person ever) as someone who sees outside of the box and who can put things into perspective, and I appreciate that. As I've started working with Adult Students, I've gained a lot of generational perspective, not only as I strive to meet the needs of older students, but because they complain a lot about stuff people my age do. I guess I'm getting frusturated at the fact that so many of us lack common sense that I'm kind of at a loss. So many of us have grown up in a time where we can trust the status quo; where we don't need to worry about the world outside of our homes because we're so insulated from change or disaster that it isn't real. We were told to go to school, and everyone else went to school, and we did just enough to get by, and for the most part reached our goals of being on par with those around us. And we heard of stuff like people starving and wars and bombs and economic collapses, but that stuff couldn't really happen here. Somehow, it all works out; you afford that car or house you don't really have the money for, your parents complain of money problems but we still eat out 4 times a week, and even though I know college education costs $35000 a year I still go with $2000 in my bank account. And none of this should worry me, since it isn't worrying anyone else.
  I'm not exceptional by any means. I've been told I'm smart, but I'm not, I'm pretty lazy, I was a B/C student in college and did enough to get by with a slacker degree. I know this. Jenn, my fiancee who is now in Medical School, is a genius who got all A's. She wants to be an emergency room doctor. First off, sweetie, I love you and I'm so sorry to throw you under the bus, muah, see you when I get home from work tonight! Second, last night we were at dinner and I was talking about some jargon related to Hydrogen feul cells in zeppelins and why they use helium as the filler for the blimp, and she said "Isn't helium lighter than Hydrogen, isn't it the lightest gas?" Astounded, I asked if it's heavier, what makes helium better in a blimp, and she didn't remember it's inert. Mind you, my last chemistry class was 1999-2000 and she just finished biochemistry LAST YEAR. A few months ago, we were talking about training the dog not to chew, and I said "Have fun with that, Sisyphus." She had no idea what that joke meant. Jenn is not stupid, and she's going to be a fine doctor, but it's indicative of the reality of our generation: we learn things until we pass the test, then we let them leave our head and forget them. It's the same reason when we go to a restaurant, she'll get out her cell phone since it has a tip calculator, when you can just double the tax and I have the value before she even flips the lid open. We're the laziest people ever and because of it we're incredibly complacent and on the whole stupid.
  Compulsory, free education is stupid. Putting things into perspective, it's important to remember that education wasn't always mandatory or free. Our ancestors worked hard to get educated, and gave their kids enough so they could go to school instead of work, but they also had to have summer jobs and side jobs, and as their parents got more they worked to get some for themselves, and when they grew up they gave their kids more and so on. Now, parents give their kids everything, and kids are expected to get education not to escape the fate of their parents, but to try to catch up to it. There's no sense of "if you don't get an education, you'll end up like these poor people;" for so many people of privelege there's a sense of "somehow I'll end up middle class enough to make it work out." I think this is a fallacy, and I think things could easily bottom out. Here's my rationale.
  Economists talk about this drop in the dollar and this rise in oil prices like it's another hump in a cycle they've seen before. I may be unique in that I reference my knowledge of American and world history, but any cycles we see are no more than a generation or two old, and no cycle that young can be trusted to be a repeating absolute. Additionally, looking at the world, it's crazy to think that our economy can be insulated against shifts in other world powers. Since the last major recession (referring to the 70's with oil price spikes and the cold war) we need to look at the fact that there weren't the same world powers then; Russia was our main global competition and much of Europe was still coming out of reconstruction. Now, China and Japan are major global players, the overall European economy is much stronger now and Middle Eastern countries with excessive cash from taking advantage of oil reserves changes the overall balance. Additionally, some of the cycle towards depression resulted from our involvement in the Vietnam war, a seemingly endless war with no clear enemy that took A GENERATION of our citizens and disrupted whatever life plan they had been crafting. Remember, in terms of cycles, we're only at the BEGINNING of that part of this recession, meaning things will get WORSE. Politically, we're the most corrupt we've ever been with faith and passion for our political system lower than ever. If the founding fathers were fighting for taxation with representation and the needs of the citizens dictating the course of the government, you'd think it'd be the responsibility of the politician to react to national polls, rather than take election as "carte blanche" to execute their own agenda. And there's rammifications; globally, value is determined in reference to the value of the dollar. When you look at the big picture: we're in an endless war much of the world disagrees with the execution of, our economy and way of life is wholly dictated by the use of oil which we've artificially driven the price of down and are completely out of control of the mining of, we refuse to participate in international agreements like the Kyoto accord which makes us look like we're not willing to play nice, and other currencies such as the Euro are strong enough that if need be the world could depend on it. We're in a bad, unpopular position if you ask me, and if the world is trying to fend off a dip in the cycle, abandoning the people who illegitimately tricked people into investing in risky overpriced home loans is a good option.
  Do we care? No. For the most part, we don't. I know all this bad stuff is going on, and I know a few people are going to Iraq, and I know I pay a little more for gas, but why should I care? I'm not starving, I'm still working my simple job, I'm not at all affected by this stuff so why should I worry? My car is old and struggling with my two hour a day commute, why shouldn't I just take out another loan to pay for a new car, especially since I have money sitting around from not paying off my student loan yet. Here's where perspective comes in: I am choosing right now to use my own perspective and intellect to make some decisions. Right now, I have about $1,400 in my bank account and 2 credit cards with 0 balances on them. Jenn has about $6000, much of which is loan money. My total worth right now is about -$45,000 and Jenn's is about -$150,000 making us worth roughly -$190,000. That means we're boned, shouldn't be living in a 3br/2ba house, shouldn't be driving new cars and absolutely shouldn't be taking out more loans. It means we should invest in some foreign currency and hope the dollar bottoms out so we can pay off our loans with 40 canadian bucks. At some point, even though the professor curves the test and my 73% is still a solid B, it still means I understood less than 3/4 of the material, and -$190,000 is a goddamned big number.
  But can you blame us? Just today the government allocated more than a half a trillion dollars on the war in Iraq. The only way to spend that kind of money is to just print more, or just borrow more. I think it's time to wake up and stop all this artificial bullshit inflation of our quality of life. When all of this debt needs to be collected, the fall is only going to be a lot harder the less prepared we are for it. This is going to come in two forms: a personal crash where the value of things we own will fundamentally shift in reference to the value of the dollar, and an economic shift where things get more expensive, not speaking about inflation but in general the value of things will go up. We see it now; things are more expensive at the grocery store since it's more expensive for trucks running on gasoline to get things where they need to go. I've told Jenn we should move to another country and adopt another currency, but she isn't moved to act yet, ebcause things always seem to work themselves out. Well, I'm trying to expand my perspective and it seems to me that the big factors here are combining in a way too unique to even use the word "always."
  This also translates to my support for Ron Paul. I know, me voting for a Republican? I may even register Republican to vote in the primary! I don't care what generalizing letter is in front of his name; what he stands for is right. He's committed to truth and is willing to dismiss and dismantle bullshit even if that disrupts the status quo. Even so, he is reasonable about how things should work and has given no indication of only pursuing his own agenda. Case in point: instead of hopping around the issue of abortion, he comes right out with it. "I'm severely pro life. I would abolish Roe vs. Wade and make it a state issue." Read that carefully. Even though he opposes abortion, he would turn it into a state issue, meaning the policy would best reflect the desires of the more accurate group of constituents. While abortion wouldn't be protected on a federal level, with all politics being local there's as much chance for both sides to be happy on a smaller scale. It's the only system with integrity I've seen so far. More importantly than anything his policies do, and trust me I have no faith whatsoever in political policy accomplishing much, he has true consistent integrity and right now I think that's what this country needs more than anything.
  I don't pledge to know everything (yet) but one thing is for sure, there's a huge level of deception, manipulation, overlooking and overtrusting going on in the world around us today. One of our allies, the good guys, who we poured money into just declared martial law and suspended the constitution, and we pretend it couldn't happen here. I can't look at the world and just trust things will work out anymore when everything I see with my eyes points to problems. Doesn't mean I have a solution, doesn't mean there is a solution, but I just can't be comfortable with a lot of things anymore. All I know is that if some apocalypse happened and infrastructure collapsed, more than most people around me I'd be able to juryrig and repair enough things in the microcosm around me to survive and to be valuable to those around me, no matter what currency value is measured in.

In Burma, thousands of people took to the streets in support of a Democratic regime change, and were met with Military force from the government, killing many and forcing many others to flee the country. Now, if I were a Burmese citizen and wanted Democracy brought to my country, looking at the world, how might I do that?

Well, it seems pretty obvious. Get to the US, blow up a building and spread intelligence that I had told the Burmese government about it and that they didn't stop me. My country should have the US military come in and offer a Democratic regime change within 4-6 months. Simple, much more effective than having monks march in the streets, and given that pictures of slaughtered monks show evidence that people are being killed it seems like a small price to pay to improve the lives of a country recieving little aid or attention.

I mean, we did it to countries that didn't really want Democracy, why wouldn't it work in a country that DID want it? Glad this is the reality of the world we live in, crafted by the US government.