How To Be Kevin!
How To Be A Kevin:
Attire:
Camouflage Bucket Hat, Preferably Slightly Worn
Flannel Shirt with Plaid Pattern, Preferably Green
Sleeves Rolled Up To Just Below Elbow
Front Must Be Completely Un-Buttoned
Green T-Shirt Under Flannel Shirt
Dark Jeans
White/Light Colored Sneakers, Preferably Velcro
Grooming:
Handlebar Moustache, No Other Facial Hair
Long Hair, Possibly Mulleted, Obscured By Hat
Cleanliness Level Equal To That Of One Day Worth of Outdoor Activity
Items To Possess:
Budweiser Heavy Beer Can (In Hand)
Drivers License (Left Front Pants Pocket)
Additional Cards (Left Front Pants Pocket)
Folded Paper (Left Front Pants Pocket)
Single One Dollar Bill (Left Front Pants Pocket)
Items Not To Possess Under Any Circumstances:
Coozie Cup
Keys
One Hundred Dollar Bill
Jesus's head (body Is Appropriate If head Is Removed)
Quotes to Say:
- "If you really know the domestic violence thing, I've been attacked a buncha times!"
- "She broke Jesus's head off on my headlight!"
- "I never, punched, a woman, or anybody, I don't even punch, nobody."
- "Let me drink the rest of my beer, will ya!"
- "You need a beer!"
- "Why, I'm in my yard, I didn't do nothing!"
- "I didn't drink enough!"
- "Well I need my keys to lock my truck up with my 800 dollars worth of shit with my house and my boat and my everything!"
- "Ok, I just need my keys, and a beer, and enough money to buy some more."
- "We just got your daughter from the skating rink, with the boat on the back!"
- "I'm sick of that little girl, call her momma a whore!"
- "I hope your daughter takes you where you need to go!"
- "Yea, I know what!"
- "Can you give me some money back for some beer?"
- "So you're gonna leave me with a dollar?"
- "You got your prescription money for your pills!"
- "With a dollar?"
- "Dollar ain't gonna go too far in Palm Beach County."
- "I'm gonna go over there and get mugged by the crack dealers!"
- "Can I have my beer?"
- "Where am I gonna go with a dollar and a beer?"
- "I don't even have a coozie cup."
Photo Evidence:
WhT episode on cops is this I can find it anywhere
WHAT EPISODE WAS THIS. NEED TO KNOW