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Conspiracy

  My whole life, people have told me I’m smart. I have always been told I’m very logical, I’m very just, I can see options outside what is most apparant, I come up with creative solutions. I love philosophical thought, I love following ideas to their extreme possibilities. I love to find solutions that benefit everyone while causing the least inconvenience. I love creating, working with my hands, building, designing, and fitting needs with solutions. I love making people laugh, and when there’s some explicit power or experience differential such as Orientation Leader and Incoming Freshman, I love providing guidance and performing in front of the group. I’m told I’m an expert at helping people understand things they don’t understand. Yet, with all these things I’ve been told I’m good at (I refuse to say I think I’m good at something, since I don’t trust myself as an authority on comparing myself to others), and all these things I love, what am I supposed to do with my life? Is student affairs for me, or is there another job I should be doing? I feel like I just want a job one day, not a job where it’s an expectation to do 200% of what is on paper, but something that I do because it has to get done and then for doing that I can go about my life. Work is to provide us the means to live the life we want to live; if I like playing video games then I work so I can afford to play video games. I hate coming home with a pile of things to do that interefere with my ability to live my life or try to make a life. My occupation is both student and student affairs professional, and I come home with tons of stuff to do for both. This can’t go one forever, and if it does I can’t do it. I don’t care how nice I look to my boss or how much I’m sucking up more than the people next to me, volunteering for extra stuff that goes into my personal time isn’t worth the money, especially if I do the things I get paid for and this isn’t in that description. For the last 22 years all I did was work, especially for the last 5, I’ve had no break whatsoever, and I’ve gotten to feeling like I don’t live. I don’t know what I’m gonna do in life, I’m finishing this but if this or isn’t my career after this, I don’t know what to do. For sure, I can’t do any more school. That’s what follows me home, and I need no end it. I’m more than open to suggestions if you think you know the career I would be great at that I could get a job in without any additional schooling.

  Want to see my whole brain? Please click here, I love this photo set and it amuses me greatly! They didn’t find anything really wrong, so this photo set is the most significant result of the MRI, and it’s so rad since how many people have images of their own brain???

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